white privilege

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Part of series of open letters to my daughters: mama always said

Dear white child of mine,

Last evening I attended an equity and inclusion meeting held in the library at one of your schools. I’ve been to a few of these meetings already, and I don’t think I’ve attended one where I haven’t shed a few tears. I got there a little early (unusual, I know), so I browsed through the books your librarian had highlighted for Black History Month. Picking up Hidden Figures, I read through the Prologue:

“Growing up in Hampton, Virginia, I assumed the face of science was brown like mine.… Keep Reading

please remember, we are all humans

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3:10pm – shortly before my middle schooler comes home from school.

I open the front door for her, allowing the dog to sit at the storm door, watching and waiting.

I sort some mail in the kitchen. Mostly junk mail.

I enjoy the stillness of the house.

I put the last few dishes in the dishwasher.

It’s peaceful.

I fold the clean dish towels.

I savor the quietness before the evening rush.

Then, the waves on which sound is carried come crashing through the windows and doors and breaks the barriers I have subconsciously instilled in my ears.

It’s shouting.

Angry shouting.… Keep Reading

loving and losing

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‘Tis better to have loved and lost

Than never to have loved at all.

Lord Alfred Tennyson penned these words as part of poem in memory of a dear friend who had passed. I believe these words to be true, yet both are hard work. Loving and losing. I am grateful to have spent many years working hard at loving well. And now, along side of that, I’m doing the hard work of losing.

I read somewhere that the grieving process can take up to 2 years. Even longer with cumulative grief. What is cumulative grief, you ask? It’s when your losses come at you all at once or back-to-back instead of kindly lining up and happening at intervals at which you can reasonably handle.… Keep Reading

sitting with death

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OK. I know most of you just scrolled right past that title. I probably would have too. But kudos to those of you who clicked. You see, I don’t think we talk about death and dying enough in our culture. As is such, it can sneak up on us and somehow surprise us, although we know we’re all going to die, right? Right? I’ve had some experience in the matter, so I thought I’d share a few things I’ve learned over the years.

I’ve sat by many dead people in my life, but it wasn’t until I sat next to my mom’s casket that I realized how important that act is in initiating healing.… Keep Reading

car prom

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Let’s talk Car Prom.

For those of you who don’t know what that is (probably most of you), it is the North American International Auto Show Charity Preview. The yearly NAIAS “serves as the global stage for companies to debut brand-defining vehicles and industry-shaping announcements” (a.k.a. fancy car show). The charity preview is sandwiched between the industry preview and the currently-happening public show. It’s a middle-of-the-winter night in Detroit where a bunch people get all formal, walk around in uncomfortable shoes, sipping on champagne or beer (depending on your upbringing), gawking at cars, and smiling for the cameras.

This was my second year in attendance.… Keep Reading